Owsley Stanley

So Owsley Stanley is dead. Bummer. Another sixties icon, character, voyager, whatever you want to call him, however you choose to look at it, has bitten the dust. For you squares out there, those not in the know, Owsley was huge in the San Francisco scene of the sixties; he crafted, made, produced, mixed, I'm not sure what the proper terminology is, high quality LSD. I know a lot about him, I don't live in squaresville man. I'm kidding about the squaresville stuff, I just wanted to go there for fun; I'm sure there are many of my generation who dug the deal but never heard of Bear (his nickname).

He died in an automotive crash. In Australia. He moved there because he was convinced there was another ice age coming. What a shame. I think he was 72. I would have preferred to see him live out his natural life. See if he made it to 100. That would lend some credence to my opinion that what people did in the sixties was not life threatening.

LSD sparks a negative reaction in most folks. Even people who once thought it was a good idea but have since been re-wired by mortgage vampires, employers, and insurance salesmen to see all alternative things as bad. LSD is the one drug I long for, the one I missed. I have never been a huge druggie; done a lot of pot, some hash, cocaine, bunch of pills but never overboard or crazy out of control. Never as a lifestyle. I firmly believe that had I tried LSD as a youngster I would be a different man today. It might have opened my mind, given me a different vision, different point of view. It might have freed me up to discard the straight jacket my parents fitted for me at birth, a straight jacket I wear to this day. I would still do it today but only under closely supervised conditions; there are many demons and dark corners in my mind. I'll get back to me in a minute.

Here's the deal. Owsley was closely associated with the Grateful Dead and other San Francisco rock bands (Jefferson Airplane, Quicksilver Messenger Service etc); but primarily with The Dead. The Dead used to conduct acid tests; these were concerts where acid was handed out to concertgoers - it was legal at that time. Then The Dead would do their thing. It was not a go crazy, let's party kind of thing. They were considered experiments to see how LSD could benefit the human mind, to see if the psychedelic experience could change your perspective and open you up to things you were never aware of before. Owsley supplied the acid; he was renowned for high quality LSD. And he made many different varieties that resulted in different types of highs.

Excuse me, I was temporarily blown away. A bird just landed on the cable outside this room. Looked directly at me for three seconds. Then took off. I believe there was a message there.

His obituary in Rolling Stone includes comments from surviving members of the Grateful Dead. Bob Weir's was best. He said "Owsley taught us to question everything, he taught us that REALITY IS SUBJECT TO INTERPRETATION."  I love that line. It gets to the core of what I am about, what I want.

I am a unique, strange, intelligent, talented individual trapped in the body of a boring lower middle class man. Still wearing the straight jacket. My parents would grab my LP's off the record player and replace them with death recordings; sounds of people being tortured and killed. They made me listen to them at night, in the dark, until I fell asleep. I never fell asleep. I don't know if this twisted my mind but that is a story for another time and place.

I have also been conditioned to be responsible. Go to work, pay the bills, suppress my dignity, do the chores, generally be a good boy. A functioning member of society. I have been re-wired.

But it did not take deep down. I know there is an alternative reality,a different way to look at things, a different way to experience things and a different way to interpret what happens in your life. The thought fascinates me. I am squirming underneath, trying to find a way out, a way to get to this alternate truth and a way to express myself purely with no filters. To air out my soul, reveal my true essence.

LSD was outlawed in the sixties. Imagine an entire generation thinking creatively? That is unacceptable. Society functions by keeping people down, by suppressing individual thought, by condoning mindless submission and punishing individuality.

Owsley and many like him were trying to find another way, a better life, a more inspired existence. He was not a loon, he was a pioneer. But average people cannot accept an approach like this; everything has to be pre-approved, antiseptic, legal, FDA approved. In other words most people will not try anything mind expanding unless it has been approved by the very people who are trying to keep you in your place. How far do you think you'll get with that approach?

I dearly want to shed my straight jacket. It is the single, most hideous thing that chokes off my air supply and keeps me underachieving. I don't necessarily need LSD to do it. Although that might be the quickest route. Studying, learning, thinking, questioning, trying, trying, trying will get me there.

Today I am just celebrating the life and influence of Owlsey Stanley. I worship the thought process, the openness, the unique approach to living a life. Every time one of these sixties icons dies a little bit of me dies with them. Because I identified with what they thought, how they lived, their approach to life; but I allowed myself to be brainwashed into living the life that they, and I, rebelled against. Every death reminds me that time is slipping away.

I have to expand my mind, my thought process. I have to blow the straight jacket apart. Or I will NEVER get what I want. Me. Peace of mind.

I hope Owlsey is in heaven right now with Jerry Garcia and Pigpen, sharing acid with god. Maybe acid IS god. Something to think about.